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Farmville is her only friend.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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