If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Redeem this text for a blowjob
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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