put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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