i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
