He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
