Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You've changed since you got that strap on
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
