i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
