Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
