All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
