So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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