I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
