I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
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