Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize