Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
