Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
