i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
