brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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