we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
