This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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