There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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