this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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