it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
