Whatcha textin bout Willis?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
