I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
