that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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