he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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