I like to think it a success when the cops are called
id be glad to
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
being pregnant is like rehab
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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