And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
