Operation Purity has been aborted
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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