who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
lol hangovers are for mortals.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
