I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
