The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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