the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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