mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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