on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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