Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
