And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
