apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
