well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
