I saw his package. It spoke to me.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
