reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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