doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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