Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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