and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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