Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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