nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize