Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Found your dick twin last night
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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