I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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