I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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