Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize