So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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