So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize