I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
