she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
