I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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