4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
