I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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