I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
