so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
