my mouth tastes like poor choices
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I deserve this hangover.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
