Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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