It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
