She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize