she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Randomize
