People in love make me want to vomit
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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