Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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