He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
