Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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