So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
