I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
