You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
