I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
