Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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