I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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