Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
