When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
