genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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